Should the guy pay?

This question came up in conversation last night, and I was sort of surprised by the number of people in my group - women, mostly - that feel comfortable with a guy paying for her meal on a first date. Let me clarify before I begin, however, that I understand the courtesy behind the gesture and, as a guy, I feel it is polite to offer to pay; however, I feel equally as strongly that, were I a woman, I would not accept that offer. Here's why.

I feel the gesture hearkens back to a time when women were not considered self-sufficient, when they were under the care of their father until a suitable man came to marry them/take care of them. It seems awfully old-fashioned and sexist; again, were I a woman, I would feel strongly that I should pay for myself at the very least as a show of my independence.

I also feel as though it creates an awkward sense of imbalance in the relationship when a man pays for a woman's meal, as though the woman needs to make up for it somehow later. I was told quite simply that this is not the case last night - perhaps if it's a tradition you're used to complying with I can see this not being an issue. I suppose this is just a feeling I have from my experience that most girls I've dated have generally not wanted me to pay for their food.

And finally, from my perspective as a guy, I can say if I were to offer to pay and my date declined, it's actually quite reassuring, and not just on my wallet. To me it indicates that she wants to be on a date with me, that she's not there simply because she expected a free meal, that she was willing to have her wallet take a hit to be with me. I suppose the counter-argument to this is, "Well, HE asked ME out, shouldn't he pay?" I would lend this argument more credence if I didn't feel it was a double-standard. Were the roles reversed (if the girl asked the guy out), could the guy truly expect the girl to pay for the meal?

All of this said, I can think of an exceptions to this - one in which a guy chooses an extremely expensive restaurant without consulting the girl. This guy's a douchebag if he expects her to pay in this case.

Essentially, I disagree with the tradition and I think it's dumb, but I respect it. If you're a guy and you claim to have manners, you should always offer to pay. And if you're a girl, in my opinion you should thank him for offering and politely decline.